I’m late…Happy 70th birthday to Heaven

Nan…  My grandma, my mother.  She was born November 20th, 1943 and passed away in June 2006.  It would’ve been her 70th birthday on the 20th.  My grandpas just passed on the 18th, he passed away November 2006.  My grandma took very good care of me.  My grandpa, or Pop as I used to call him (Nana & Papa), he was the strong one, the disciplinary of the household.  He stood up for what he believed in and though he was tough, because he was such a strong man, he made me feel safe in any situation.  While my grandma, she was soft.  She had a heart of gold.  She was the one who would keep my secrets and give me the emotional support I needed.  Having my grandparents, I suppose was like having parents.  They were my safety net, especially through my pregnancy losses and my marriage.  Since they’ve been gone, it’s been extremely hard for me.  I know I could’ve left this marriage by now had they been here…but, that’s selfish to even think.

My grandma loved Christmas.  It was her favorite holiday.  She would be trying to get the tree up while Pop was telling her to wait until at least December 1st.  She had the most amazing manger and Christmas town all that plugged in.  It was beautiful.  When my grandma passed away, no one even recognized that I too lost my mom.  I didn’t really get to know my mom until I was 13.  I thought she didn’t love me, different story though.  It was tough to see everyone giving their sympathy to my mom, aunt and my uncle.  I just wanted to scream “I lost my parents too!”

I miss her so much.  I miss them both more than words could ever say.  The feeling of loss is still so new, even after 7 years.  What I would give to spend another birthday with them.
This is the last Christmas we spent together, 2005.

Happy 70th birthday Nan.  I love you.

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