It never ends!

I’m slacking on my posts.  I’m finding it hard to keep up on my blog with everything, especially dealing with my son!  It was actually his 6th birthday yesterday!  Unfortunately, we were too broke to even get him a birthday present.  That has caused me a lot of guilt inside.  I’m feeling like a horrible parent these days.  Not only because of the lack of birthday presents, but because financially, we’re so far behind, I can’t even afford winter gloves for the kids right now, and we got a good foot of snow the other day; snowing again today as well.  I just feel terrible and very useless as a parent.  I can’t even provide what my children absolutely need.  I’m ashamed.

So my poor little guy was hospitalized not long ago for tonsillitis.  He had a doctor appointment a couple weeks after for a referral to the ENT.  While he was there, the doctor checked his throat and said his tonsils were still swollen and gave him a prescription for another dose of Dexamethasone.  He then proceeded to tell me he also has croup.  So he was again at home from school.  Thursday the 7th, he started complaining his eye was sore.  I figured he had something in it, or it was irritated from the wood stove we have.  Friday, his eye is leaking the puss stuff and dripping clear fluid.  It would roll down his cheek like a tear, drip off and land on his chest.  I went to the pharmacy to get him something for pink eye.  A few days later there was absolutely no improvement, it had spread to both eyes, he was waking up numerous times a night for a warm wet cloth so I could get his eyes unglued together (which would take 1.5 hours per eye sometimes), the eyelids were so swollen they were overlapping the eyelashes!  His eyelids were also very purple.  He looked horrible.  On Monday, I ended up taking him to the ER after that clear fluid that was leaking from his eyes ended up blood leaking from his eyes.  Scariest thing ever to see your child literally crying blood.  The ER doctor gave him an antibiotic ointment which I have to put inside his bottom eyelids, and eye drops to help with the pain and swelling.  Today is day 6 of that and though there’s still some pink, it’s a lot better.

He did miss all last week of school though, plus what he missed when he had croup, plus what he missed with his tonsillitis.  He’s missed nearly a month of school and it’s only the middle of November.  It’s hard to deal with all of this because he’s so far behind with school.  Not necessarily with school, but with learning.  Prior to all this medical stuff, I had a meeting with his teacher who told me at this rate, he will fail.  I am doing everything I can to make sure that doesn’t happen, but it just isn’t enough!  It’s hard trying to teach him without my little girl thinking she knows the answers and what not, they end up trying to play.  Plus all the other stuff, the house, trying to deal with my useless husband, dealing with my own health problems…and dental problems for that matter.  I am just so beyond stressed these days.

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One thought on “It never ends!

  1. I am so very sorry you are going through so much we need a ‘plan’ to get you out of this ‘funk’. BREATHE, get some fresh air and BREATHE again, clear your head. I so wish you lived closer, we have so many resources and support for families in need. You can do this, join some facebook support groups in the meantime and talk to people, see that you’re not alone and find out how others are coping with ‘life’.

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