Between my husband and I, I don’t have much to report. It really hasn’t been too terrible at all since I’ve started this blog. I am however, waiting for the poop to hit the fan. It’s bound to happen, it always does.
I had started an entry a few days ago, but didn’t get the chance to finish. My kids brought home a nasty cold from school and for some reason, it kicked my butt. I’m still fighting it. It’s mostly in my lungs now, which is hard with Asthma, but I’ll make it. The entry was going to be about my past and the effects it’s had on me, and still have on me to this day. I’ll save that for a future entry. This one is just going to be personal life venting I believe. I just need a space to get things on paper (so to speak) and out of my head.
My kids go up to my husbands grandparents on the weekends. It gives me a chance to clean without a Tasmanian devil (or two in my case) going behind me, and also to sleep. I have insomnia, simply because my brain doesn’t turn off at night. My whole day and even life flashes through my brain along with many what if’s, hopes, fears, you name it! On average, it takes me hours to get to sleep. I’m also a night person, this can be a huge downfall. Especially when you’re waking up at 6:30am to get your children ready for school. I literally made a pot of coffee yesterday morning and forgot to put the pot underneath. So, I had a huge mess all over my counter and my floor…which is carpet. Wonderful. Also mixed with the anemia I suffer from which causes fatigue, I’m just exhausted all the time. Usually nauseated on and off throughout the day as well, more so in the mornings though which I believe is the anemia too. Nausea is a symptom of low iron. I’ve tried and tried to avoid the supplements, but it looks like I’m going to have no choice but to start taking them. In liquid form too because I just can’t swallow pills!
So, the kids walked in the door on Sunday. My son came over to me, jumped up onto my lap and just held onto me for 20 minutes. He was sad. He told me “Nanny smacked me here and here.” Across both cheeks. Nanny is my husbands grandma. Hubby starts telling me that my son had smacked her first, but he was playing when he did it. Regardless of meaning to smack her or not, you don’t hit kids, especially kids who aren’t yours! I was furious! And what made it was is that she is always telling the kids to hit the other one back if one of them hit the other. Hitting is acceptable in that house, so why start being a hypocrite and smacking my son for doing something she’s been telling him is okay to do! She was out of line there. I know the things she lets them do, things I would never let them do and they tell me. Not only did she smack my son, but she cut 5 inches of hair off my daughters head! Her hair was almost to her bum! I was livid! That’s at least 5 times she’s cut her hair without my consent! Not once has she even asked for my consent though. Why would she…I’m just the Mom!
** Girly topics below this point **
I went to see the doctor a couple of weeks ago. I was given a prescription for pain killers; Naproxen which is apparently very hard on your stomach. You have to eat with it because it can cause bleeding ulcers and other tummy problems. I’m afraid to take them. My stomach feels horrible on a good day, never mind with something that very well may make me sick. I haven’t come across a pain-killer (prescription, not Advil or Tylenol) that hasn’t made me vomit. My body is very sensitive to any chemicals. But I have them in case. My doctor said it’s safer than taking 6 Advil every hour like I was doing. Advil thins the blood which is a very bad thing to mix with anemia which also thins the blood. The Naproxen is for abdominal pain. I have Endometriosis, multiple ovarian cysts, I’m prone to uterus infections and I have IBS as well. I have my two children, my girl and my boy. I don’t plan to have more children, so I’m fighting to have a partial hysterectomy. My mom had a partial hysterectomy at my current age due to cervical cancer. They left her ovaries and fallopian tubes so she wouldn’t go through menopause. I’d like the same procedure done not only to decrease the amount of pain, but also to reduce my chances of cervical cancer. I have to be honest, it freaks me out a little bit.
I was also given birth control pills. Not to stop a future pregnancy since hubby had a vasectomy 5 years ago, but to try to get me regular. This experience was horrible. If you’ve taken birth control pills, you know you start the day everything stops. I did, I followed the instructions. I took this tiny pill for 4 days. For 4 days, my stomach was in my throat, I was dizzy, tired, my breasts were sore, I had a bad headache; I felt pregnant. No thank you. I stopped taking them. A day later, I started a new cycle. I will never make this mistake again. These pills are called Marvelon and where I live, cost $30. I paid $30 to feel like hell. Back to the doctor I go. He had mentioned something called an endometrial ablation. This is hot water in a balloon which literally burns the inside of the uterus. This sounds very painful to me. My mom also had this and it didn’t help her at all, just caused pain.
Okay, tomorrow a post on my past and present and the effects it’s had on me.